Dance Teacher Communication Before Competition Season: Conversations to Have Early

Most communication issues between dance moms and teachers don’t come from bad intentions.

They come from unclear expectations and asking the wrong kind of question at

the wrong time.

This post is part of my Countdown to Competition Season blog series — created to help dance moms feel informed, confident, and steady before competition season ramps up.

In the first post of this series, we focused on organizing dance communication — creating one place for messages, using studio apps fully, printing what matters, and moving key dates to a family calendar — so you’re not communicating from chaos.

If the last post was about organizing communication so you’re not reacting from chaos, this one is about what conversations are actually helpful to have with your dance teacher before competition season begins.

Not theoretical.

Not vague.

Real conversations you can confidently have.

First: Understand How Communication Works at Your Studio

Before you worry about what to ask, make sure you understand how communication is supposed to happen.

Every studio is different. Some prefer:

• Email only

• A designated app (BAND, Slack, etc.)

• Office staff as the main point of contact

  
  

A safe, appropriate early-season question is:

• “What’s the best way to communicate if a question comes up during the season?”

  
  

This does two things:

1. It shows respect for boundaries

2. It prevents frustration later

   
   

Also — set your expectations now:

• Teachers are not on call

• Responses may take time

• No response doesn’t automatically mean an issue

  
  

Competition season requires patience as much as preparation.

Why Timing Matters More Than the Question Itself

Here’s the simple truth:

The same question can feel supportive in December and stressful in February.

Before competition season:

• Teachers still have planning bandwidth

• Adjustments are being finalized

• Clarification is welcome

  
  

Once competition season starts:

• Focus shifts to execution

• Decisions are already made

• Reopening conversations adds pressure

  
  

That’s why these conversations belong before competition season — when they can actually help.

Three Real Scenarios — and What You Can Safely Ask

Scenario 1: The Routine Looks Strong

Your dancer feels confident. The choreography looks clean. You’re feeling good.

Helpful questions to ask early:

• “Is there anything you want us focusing on at home as this routine develops?”

• “Are there any expectations we should know as competition season approaches?”

• “Is there anything parents can do to help keep things running smoothly once competitions begin?”

These questions:

• Reinforce trust

• Support the process

• Don’t invite unnecessary changes

  
  

Scenario 2: The Routine Feels a Little Unsettled or Rushed

Maybe choreography feels incomplete, music timing seems off, or rehearsals feel tight.

This is where many moms panic — but timing and wording matter.

Safer, productive questions to ask before comp season:

• “Are there any major elements still being finalized for this routine?”

• “Is there anything we should expect to change before competitions begin?”

• “When does choreography typically ‘lock in’ for this season?”

These questions:

• Seek clarity, not control

• Acknowledge process

• Avoid emotional assumptions

  
  

Scenario 3: Your Dancer Is Struggling Emotionally

Your dancer feels anxious, discouraged, or unsure — even if the routine itself is fine.

Supportive questions to ask early:

• “Is this a common phase you see as routines settle?”

• “How can we best support our dancer emotionally as competition season approaches?”

• “Are there things you recommend parents not emphasize at home during this phase?”

These questions:

• Center the dancer

• Respect the teacher’s expertise

• Avoid over-involvement

  
  

What to Hold Back Once Competition Season Is Underway

Once competitions begin, try to avoid:

• Reopening choreography decisions

• Asking hypothetical “what if” questions about outcomes

• Comparing routines or dancers

• Seeking reassurance mid-execution

Not because your concerns aren’t valid — but because this is no longer the season for reconsideration.

At that point, the best support is consistency and trust.

Being Informed vs. Being Involved

Competition season needs parents who are:

• Informed about schedules and expectations

• Calm and steady

• Trusting of the process

It does not need parents who are:

• Emotionally processing decisions in real time

• Seeking validation through communication

• Crowdsourcing opinions mid-season

Knowing the difference protects everyone — including you.

Dance teacher communication before competition season sets the tone for everything that follows.

Dance teacher communication before competition season is about setting the stage — not managing the performance.

When you:

• Understand communication expectations

• Ask clear, appropriate questions early

• Respect timing and boundaries

You enter the competition season confident, not cautious.

You’re not trying to say everything. You’re choosing the conversations that actually help.

It can make competition season feel more manageable for everyone involved.

Want more support like this—without doing it alone?

Come join the Shine Squad Facebook group. It’s a space for dance moms to connect, share real experiences, and support each other through every season of dance life.

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