Dance Moms: She Didn’t Make the Team… Now What?
- AlwaysAnjoli
- Jul 17
- 4 min read
You knew team placements were coming, but nothing prepares you for that moment when your dancer’s name isn’t where you hoped it would be.
Maybe she’s not on the roster at all.Maybe she was placed on a different level than expected.
Or maybe the solo she gave her heart to was handed to someone else.
And just like that, you're sitting with a swirl of emotions—trying to stay grounded while everything inside you is rattling.
If you’re feeling blindsided, hurt, confused, or even angry—you’re not overreacting. You’re just a mom who cares deeply.
👉 That’s why I created a video specifically for this moment. In it, I walk you through the emotional spiral and the path forward, with calm, real-world guidance. Watch it here.
But here on the blog? We’re going to zoom out just a little.
Let’s talk about the bigger picture of how to regroup, reframe, and take care of both your dancer and yourself.
🧠 First: Let’s Normalize What It Feels Like When Your Dancer Didn’t Make the Dance TeamWe don’t talk about this enough in dance world culture.
Behind every team list are dancers who didn’t get what they wanted—and moms trying to hold it together for their kids.
Here’s what you need to know:
Your dancer’s disappointment doesn’t mean failure.
Your grief doesn’t make you dramatic.
And your response matters more than any placement ever will.
What you do next sets the tone—not just for this season, but for how your dancer handles challenges for years to come.
🌪️ The Hidden Chaos We Don’t Name
Placement disappointment rarely lives alone.
It shows up with:
Regret (“Should we have done more privates?”)
Doubt (“Maybe she’s just not cut out for this.”)
Comparison (“That girl made it and barely even shows up!”)
And beneath it all: protective mama pain. You saw how hard she worked. You believed in her. You wanted her to be seen.
So no—this isn’t “just dance.”It’s her dream. And your heart.
But now, your job isn’t to fix it. It’s to help her find meaning through it.
That process starts with calm and clarity. In the video, I guide you through what that looks like in real-time—especially when your own feelings are tangled up in the moment. Watch it here.
💡 What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is not fill the silence.
If you’re unsure how to show up right now, try this:
“I know how much this meant to you. I’m so proud of how hard you worked.”
“It’s okay to be sad. You’re allowed to feel this.”
“This doesn’t define you. And it doesn’t end your story.”
It’s not about pretending this doesn’t hurt. It’s about reminding her that she is so much more than one outcome.
🧭 Your Compass for What Comes Next
In the full video, I dive into specific tools and questions to help your dancer reconnect with her goals and identity after a placement shock—but here are a few key ideas to keep in your back pocket:
Look at this season with fresh eyes.
Not everything goes according to plan. But what else is possible now? Are there opportunities she wouldn’t have had on another team?
Separate disappointment from decision-making.
Now is not the time to jump ship or fire off emails. Let the dust settle. Then explore if a conversation—or a shift—is truly needed.
Lead with curiosity, not confrontation.
If you do reach out to the studio, focus on development:“What can she work on to grow this year?”That question builds bridges. Not barriers.
✨ What If This Is the Plot Twist She Needs?
We all love a comeback story.
And the truth is—every dancer who’s gone far has a moment when things didn’t go as planned.
Sometimes, those “off-track” seasons are the ones that build confidence, leadership, and clarity.
This could be the year she:
Learns to lead from the middle.
Tries something new and finds fresh joy.
Rises stronger than ever because she had to fight for herself.
That story? It starts with how you help her write it.
💛 Give Yourself Space Too
You don’t have to pretend this doesn’t affect you.
Give yourself permission to:
Talk to someone who gets it.
Avoid the studio group chat for a while.
Take a social scroll break.
Journal without judgment.
You’re holding a lot. And you can’t pour resilience into your dancer if you’re completely emptied out.
💆♀️ Need a moment to reset?I made a 5-minute Guided Meditation for Dance Moms just for this kind of emotional overload. Listen to it here—and let yourself breathe again.
💬 Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
This blog only scratches the surface.
👉 If you’re in this moment right now, I invite you to watch my full video :Dance Moms: She Didn’t Make the Team… Now What?
It’s the deep breath you didn’t know you needed.
And if you want connection and community?✨ Join the Shine Squad—my free space for dance moms navigating the real stuff with grace, grit, and zero judgment.
Drop a 💔 in the comments if this is hitting home. We’re stronger together.
📘 P.S. Need a little extra help navigating this season?
Download my Free Team Placement Guide—it’s packed with reflection prompts, support tips, and next-step clarity for moms and dancers alike.
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