How Your Spouse Can Help During Competition Week (So You Don’t Lose Your Mind or Your Marriage)

As any seasoned dance mom knows, the week before a competition is nothing short of a rollercoaster. There’s the packing (and repacking), the constant mental checklist, and the emotional chaos that comes with everything being high stakes.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying the entire world on your shoulders while your

spouse tries to figure out which snack to buy for the car ride, you’re not alone. But guess what? It doesn’t have to be this hard.

The good news? Your spouse can help in small, impactful ways that’ll make a huge difference—without needing to go all-in on packing the bags or chauffeuring your dancer around.

Here’s the blueprint to get the support you need while keeping the week before competition as smooth as possible.

1. Give Them Simple, Specific Tasks

The first rule of getting help is making it easy for your spouse to help. You know how to juggle a million things at once, but your spouse?

They need a roadmap.

Keep your requests simple and specific.

🔹 What to say: “Can you pick up extra snacks for the car ride? I’ve got the costumes covered.”This is an easy win for them, and it helps you feel more organized without the mental overload of doing it all yourself.

Pro Tip:

Tell them exactly what kind of snacks to get: think mess-free, crumb-minimal, and non-sticky (because no one has time to scrub granola bar goo off a rhinestoned bodice at 7 AM). Granola bars (without chocolate chips!), pretzel sticks, goldfish crackers, and applesauce pouches are your friends. No Cheetos. I repeat: No. Cheetos.

2. Ask for Emotional Check-ins (Without Guilt)

Let’s be real: emotions can be a bit high during competition week. From the excitement to the stress, it’s a lot to carry. Instead of bottling it up, ask your spouse to check in with you emotionally.

They don’t need to “fix” everything—they just need to support you.

🔹 What to say: “Can we take a moment for a quick check-in? I’m feeling overwhelmed and could use a little reassurance.”

Sometimes, a few words of encouragement can make all the difference in getting you through the week.

3. Delegate the Little Stuff That Frees You Up

You don’t need to handle every single detail. When you’re juggling 10 things at once, your spouse can step in and handle some of the household tasks to free you up for the bigger ones.

🔹 What to say: “I really need your help with dinner tonight—can you take over?”

It’s not about handing them a mountain of to-dos; it’s about lifting some of the weight off your shoulders so you can focus on the competition prep.

4. Create Space for Quiet Recharge Time

Let’s face it, dance mom life can get loud—literally and emotionally.

You’re dealing with last-minute costume repairs, packing, and racing against the clock. Sometimes you just need a moment to breathe.

🔹 What to say: “Could you take the kids to the park for a little while? I need some quiet time to recharge.”

A little quiet time is crucial for maintaining your sanity. Plus, it gives your spouse the chance to bond with the kids while you recharge.

Pro Tip:

🛋️ Encourage your spouse to take the kids out to dinner — bonus points if it's somewhere that doesn’t involve you cooking, cleaning, or answering 17 snack-related questions.

This kills two birds with one stone: you get a quiet house to recharge, and the kids come back full (and hopefully tired 🙏).

(Plus, picking up a pizza and a milkshake makes them hero of the year in the kids’ eyes — low effort, high reward.)

5. Be Honest About What You Need

Sometimes, the best way to get help is by being direct.

Tell your spouse what you need—not just what you want. Your spouse is there to support you, but they can’t do that if they don’t know exactly how.

🔹 What to say: “I need you to listen to me vent for a few minutes. I’m not looking for solutions, just someone to hear me out.”

It’s not about solving problems; it’s about making sure they know how to be there for you.

Pro Tip:💬 Give them “emotional cheat codes” ahead of time:

• "If I look stressed, offer coffee."

• "If I look frantic, tell me I’m doing amazing."

• "If I’m silent, just hug me — don’t ask 25 questions."(It's like giving them the Konami code for your heart. 😂)

6. Thank Them for Even the Smallest Efforts

Small gestures count, especially when it comes to supporting you during competition week. Let your spouse know that you appreciate their help—no matter how small.

🔹 What to say: “Thank you for taking the kids out today. It really helped me get things done without feeling overwhelmed.”

A little appreciation goes a long way. It encourages them to continue helping and reassures them that their efforts are valued.

And That's How Your Spouse Can Help You Survive Competition Week (Without Losing Your Mind)

Getting through the week leading up to a dance competition doesn’t have to be a solo mission. How your spouse can help during competition week can make all the difference, especially when you're juggling so many moving parts. By guiding your spouse with clear, simple requests and asking for both emotional and logistical support, you can make the week feel a little less chaotic.

And let’s face it—every bit of help counts, especially when the stakes are high and the emotions are even higher.

Your spouse may not know what’s going on inside your head, but when you communicate what you need and make it easy for them to pitch in, you’ll both come out on the other side with fewer meltdowns—and maybe even a little more love and appreciation for each other. In the end, it’s not about doing it all perfectly, but about feeling supported and less alone in the process.

Psst… Hey Dance Mom!

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